Last week, the rabbis and cantors of Progressive Judaism took part in Kallah – the annual retreat that gives them a chance to learn from, engage with and support one another. This was the first ever joint Kallah, where clergy from Liberal and Reform communities shared the space together. Below, Rabbi Daniel Lichman shares the conversations, connections and insights that made this gathering so memorable.

I woke up with a jolt. I opened my eyes to a strange room and was disturbed by a strange dream. The narrative, I had already forgotten; the message stayed with me: have a conversation with a wise rabbi-colleague, it said. After a few seconds of discombobulation I remembered that I was at the Kallah – the gathering of rabbis and cantors. The promise of my dream was fulfilled at the breakfast buffet.

The previously solid bodies of the Conference of Liberal Rabbis and Cantors and the Assembly of Reform Rabbis and Cantors UK dissolved in the liquid of this first joint Kallah: with ripples, and sometimes gentle waves, moving on the surface as the liquid adjusted to the prayer, study and workshop containers of this special Kallah.

On our first evening together we acknowledged the unprecedented challenges of the last two years. Since 7 October 2023, I have felt myself break apart as I have struggled to hold it all together: my worry for my family in Israel, my horror at the death of Palestinians in Gaza, my fears for the future of Judaism when the voices of Jewish extremism have become so loud and my uncertainty as to how to offer rabbinic leadership in this time of division and polarisation.

And then, as I listened to colleagues reflect on their experiences, I realised that these conflicting parts were never mine to carry alone; I felt my breathing deepen as the parts, at least for a moment, made peace with one another as leaders reflected, witnessed and honoured one another and slowly came to see their leadership as a rainbow of courage.

I picture the rabbi/cantor who sits on the various sized sofas of their role, supported by the cushions of prayer, and beside the unique coffee table of the sweet and savoury cakes of the Torah she offers. The rabbi/cantor comes to Kallah. There she tries out some new, and some surprisingly shaped, cushions for comfort; she shares bitesized samples of her cakes and tastes those offered by others. Though the ingredients of others inspire her to make minor changes to hers, mostly she is joyfully reminded of the nearly forgotten truth of the unique taste of her recipe.

She trusts that though the hunger can, at times, seem insatiable, when she offers her slice of cake, knowing that her colleagues will be offering theirs – and if the sofa is carefully maintained by supportive lay leadership – there will be, in fact there already is, an expansive cake, ready for a warming, nourishing and a most enjoyable afternoon tea.