Va Yetze

by Rabbi Kathleen de Magtige-Middleton from The Liberal Jewish Synagogue

Summary
Vayetze continues the life story of our Patriarch Jacob. Jacob has fled his parental home as his twin brother Esau swore to kill him for cheating him out of his birthright and for stealing his father’s blessing. On his flight to his maternal uncle, Laban, Jacob dreams of a stairway reaching to heaven, and the divine promise that his descendants will be blessed and inherit the land promised to Abraham and Isaac. Jacob stays with Laban and works for seven years for him in exchange for his younger daughter Rachel whom he loves; but Laban tricks him into marrying his elder daughter Leah. Laban allows Jacob to have Rachel too in exchange of yet another seven years of labour. In these years Jacob builds up his rapidly extending family. The two sisters vie for their husband’s love and while Rachel can’t conceive and gives her handmaid as surrogate mother to Jacob, who bears two children for her. Leah bears many children hoping each time to win her husband’s love, and when she stopped conceiving she too gave her handmaid as surrogate mother, who likewise bore Jacob two sons. Eventually Rachel conceives and gives birth to Joseph. His family now complete Jacob prepares to leave for his fatherland, but Laban doesn’t want to let his family go, and after more deception, trickery and reciprocal anger, Laban and Jacob finally reconcile their differences and Jacob and his family continue on their way.

Commentary
This portion is rife with examples of fraud human relationships: sibling rivalry, marital instability, strained relations with the in-laws, abusive relationships between employer and employee… Not one of the relationships in Jacob’s life is an easy one; not even between him and his beloved wife Rachel for he seems unable to secure her trust that he truly loves her, because for Rachel having a child has become her obsession, and her only proof that her marriage really means something. For both of Jacob’s wife their children have become a ploy to secure love. As often happens in families, where the relationship is already failing Leah believes that a child, and yet another child will cement the relationship and bind her and Jacob together as a couple. As so often is the case the contrary happens, for often the strains and responsibilities of parenthood tests and tries the couple and if already unstable may drive them apart. And so we see that Leah, no matter what she attempts is unable to ever secure Jacob’s love. That is her tragedy.

Rachel’s tragedy is of a different kind – her initial infertility stands in the way of her ability to fully recognise and enjoy Jacob’s love. It is as if she feels unfulfilled without a child and that because she can’t reach her full potential, she cannot be fully loved by Jacob Eventually, when Rachel does conceive and bear a child, she seems still unfulfilled, as she continues to have another child, she dies in childbirth.


The suffering between the two sisters is paramount in the story, and because they are married to the same man they cannot even share and alleviate each others sadness.


What can we learn from all this sadness in this portion? Perhaps the hidden message is a warning against the ever so human temptation to used parenthood as a tool to cement our relationship and against the human mistake to let the struggle for fertility and sincere wish for parenthood overtake a good and loving relationship. The relationships we have with our partners and spouses are sacred and worthwhile in themselves – and need as much working at and for as the profound blessing and incredibly heavy task of parenthood.

Rabbi Kathleen de Magtige-Middleton
The Liberal Jewish Synagogue