A Positive Response to Intermarriage

(Rabbi Mark Goldsmith, Chairperson of the Rabbinic Conference of Liberal Judaism)

Every Sunday morning at Ivriah, the religion school of Finchley Progressive Synagogue I have the opportunity to teach our Kabbalat Torah class. This class is made up of fifteen and sixteen year old people who, after celebrating Bar and Bat Mitzvah, have chosen to continue studying Judaism and participating actively in the life of our Synagogue. The Kabbalat Torah class, which used to be called Confirmation, has been part of the life of our and every Liberal Jewish congregation virtually since the birth of our Movement over a century ago.

The make up of our Kabbalat Torah class of nine this year is an accurate reflection of the diversity of our congregation. Four of the young people in the class have two Jewish parents, seven of whom were born Jewish and one of whom converted to Judaism. Three members of the class have a Jewish mother and a non-Jewish father. Two have a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother. These young people who have chosen to develop their Judaism well beyond childhood are a living embodiment of the positive approach to enhancing the Jewish lives of intermarried families that has been part and parcel of Liberal Judaism for many decades. If you met our Kabbalat Torah class and tried to work out who is who based on the supposition that Jewish life and values can only be passed on where both parents are Jews, you would not have the slightest chance of succeeding.

The Jewish Chronicle last week (October 8th 2004) reported on the chairman of Hillel International, Edgar Bronfman’s stating that “it is time to abandon “racist” ideas and encourage intermarried couples to raise their children as Jews.” Whilst we would not necessarily support Edgar Bronfman’s categorisation of opposition to intermarriage as “racist”, Liberal Judaism certainly demonstrates in its actions that the Jewish people can continue to live both through in-marriage and intermarriage as long as Synagogues are entirely positive in welcoming intermarried couples to participation in our community. We welcome intermarried couples into our congregations not only because we do not want them and their children to be lost to Judaism but also because we believe that Judaism has much to offer them and to the world at large and we have a duty to include them within our heritage.

The Liberal Jewish process begins with open congregations who welcome all to come and join them in worship, educational and social activities. Above the front door of our Synagogue, and above the Ark of many other Liberal Synagogues are the words of the Prophet Isaiah “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples” (Isaiah 56:7). We hold “Basic Judaism” classes to enable adults to reconnect with their Judaism or to find out what Judaism is, says and does if they are new to our religion. If a Jewish person has made the decision to marry a non-Jewish person and needs Judaism to be with them at this important point of transformation in their lives then most Liberal Rabbis will be delighted to help the couple to conduct a Jewish ceremony of celebration on or near the day of their marriage.

Both members of the couple are welcome to participate in all areas of Synagogue life, and in Liberal Synagogues the only division between Jews and non-Jews is that only a Jew may be called to the Torah or lead a service. When a couple has children, whether the mother or the father is Jewish, those children can experience Baby Naming ceremonies, study at our religion schools, join our youth clubs, celebrate Bar or Bat Mitzvah and Kabbalat Torah and be married. The criterion for the child’s Jewish status is whether or not the child was brought up as a Jew, not a matter only of which parent was Jewish. At the end of their life, in the Liberal Jewish Cemetery in Willesden, it is possible for a non-Jewish partner to be buried alongside their Jewish spouse and we are working to make this facility available throughout our Movement.

In the past Judaism has been much more open than it is in most sections of the Jewish community today. During the Roman period the historical record makes it clear that many non-Jews became part of Jewish families and our religion survived and thrived so that whilst the Visigoths and the Gauls are no longer identifiable people, the Jewish people is still very much alive today. This seems too to have been the case during biblical times from the days of Abraham and Sarah onwards to at least the end of the Babylonian exile. Today is such a time that Judaism must again open itself to welcome those who choose to join our people either through conversion or through bringing up Jewish children with their Jewish partners.

In recent weeks congregations affiliated to Liberal Judaism have been established in Edinburgh and Manchester, two cities where many Jews have felt unable to practice their Judaism in an inclusive environment which welcomes them whoever their choice of partner is. At the same time Finchley Progressive Synagogue’s Crouch End Chavurah is bringing inclusive Judaism to an area of major Jewish population growth in London. We are currently aiming to establish Council of Patrons for Liberal Judaism whose members are willing to offer their financial support to a Movement which is reaching out with an holistic solution to the challenge of intermarriage. We know that some of our Patrons will be people who are not themselves Liberal Jews but who know that our approach to Jewish outreach is sorely needed in our time.

Whatever the denomination of the Judaism you belong to, truly making our houses of prayer open to all has got to mean opening the doors wide to Jews married to non-Jews as well as to those who have found love within the community.